I felt like I was made to become a big deal. It fueled my internal sense of entitlement. Greatness would be mine. Now if only I could get the right people to see it. I was self-centered and deluded about my preparedness for such a future. It is frustrating to have that feeling that you were made to be part of something bigger, and still not seeing yourself get picked, or none of the right doors open for you.
That was the beginning of a long chapter of my unhealthy life when I was holding myself back. I first had to experience humility. I lost opportunities to work and serve in ways from which elevated my pride. I also lost trust with friends who didn’t know how bad my condition was. The fascinating thing I’ve learned along the way, is that I am still set up for greatness. Currently my life is filled with many opportunities to do great things. What needed corrected was, “Whose mission or quest was I on?”, and “What was the real work that I was being called to do?” Every one of us has been built, intentionally designed, for something bigger and more important than we think is possible. Once you recognize your personal quest, you see that you’ve been preparing for it all your life.
The Frustration Is A Signal
I was talking with a friend the other day and we were both recognizing the signal words “just” and “should”. Have you found yourself saying or thinking, “If they would just ______.” Or, “I/They really. should _____.” I’ve been seeing those two words as a sign that the speaker is frustrated and wants other to realize or follow along with the way they think something should be. Some other words that could also show up like this are “only” and “ought”, which is just a fancy or old fashioned version of “should”. Those signal words point toward something real, a calling that hasn't been answered yet. And every heroic story has a name for that moment when the call finally gets accepted.
There are many stories, both Biblical and in our literature where the character sees and accepts the Call to Adventure. That is what Joseph Campbell called it in The Hero’s Journey. Here, we’re referring to it as The Quest. When Frodo agreed to carry the ring into danger to destroy it, that was his quest. When Harry decided to hunt horcruxes, so he could eventually defeat Voldemort, that was his. It can be refused or delayed. In thinking about The Quest within our heroic framework, our emphasis is on the fact that we choose the difficult journey that is ahead. It isn’t a burden put on us. Once we understand ourselves and what we were made for, we take up the difficult challenge as our purpose and duty.
My Idea that Waited
I see this site and the whole heroic framework as part of my own quest. I had the idea, and many related delusions of grandeur, ten years before I was ready to build it. I wasn’t healthy and I also lacked the clarity for what it needed to be. But through intense recovery work and getting myself in a healthier fruit-bearing pattern of living, I finally saw what I could make. It was a work which built upon my experience going through the recovery process. My quest was waiting until I had freedom, which began to be unlocked by naming what had been holding me back.
I gained additional purpose through this process. I began to see my past self in other people. I could have pursued training and credentials to provide therapeutic treatment. That was a parallel effort to where I was being led. I could see that creating a platform based on gentle coaching through Biblical teaching and heroic literature was more in line with how I was built. That journey fit me well. Once I felt the freedom, I was motivated to help guide others out of the same state of being ensnared and frustrated. It is fascinating to realize that a person on his quest, might also or later play the Mentor to another person on their quest. I also see that I’m called to be in Alliance with others as well. The framework is all active at once, but we concentrate on strengthening our each aspect, one at a time.
The Biblical anchor
"For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."
Ephesians 2:10 (ESV)
Many of us have big ideas of what we want to do in life. Some of us even believe we attain it for a while. We get a taste of being right where we dreamed we’d be. In my story, when I was found out, I lost the opportunity to work in the area that I felt I’d earned. My purpose and entitlement both collapsed hard. What I didn’t understand, until about a year after my recovery work had begun, was that everything God put in front of me was my work. My scope had to be humbled. I first had to work on myself. Then, I was fortunate that I got to work on my relationships, which I could have lost completely. In time, I could hear the things I learned, paired with my new healthy perspective I had about my past unhealthy thinking when I was unhealthy, these gems of truth and realization were coming together and helping others.
I realized I didn’t need to worry about getting back to where I thought I should be. The work God put in front of me, was more powerful and helpful than I could ever imagine. But it wasn’t my power. I had to learn that it was not for my glory or my story, but His glory. I could do amazing heroic work, but I had to get myself out of the way. I became part of His story, as I served His kingdom.
When you think about your quest, do you currently hear a specific calling or at least a vague sense of what you’re supposed to do? It may be early, and as in my story, it is helpful to allow it room to be reshaped as you grow. Have you taken steps or put forth effort toward your mission? Or are these thoughts about having a life purpose foreign or even frustrating at this stage of your journey?
The Quest is position 10 on the Heroic Wheel, the final point before the wheel begins another revolution. It is the culmination of every point that precedes it on the wheel. You don't have to work through all ten before you can begin your quest. The Quest Codex explores what it means to realize and then answer your specific calling through the lens of scripture and story.